• Stretch for…
    • Leaders
    • Staff
    • Facilitators
  • Blog
    • Character
    • Leadership
    • Effectiveness
    • Development
    • Excellence
  • About Jonathan Mills
  • Shop
    • Products
    • Cart
    • Checkout
  • Subscribe
  • Stretch for…
    • Leaders
    • Staff
    • Facilitators
  • Blog
    • Character
    • Leadership
    • Effectiveness
    • Development
    • Excellence
  • About Jonathan Mills
  • Shop
    • Products
    • Cart
    • Checkout
  • Subscribe
Constructive feedback

Rethinking criticism

Posted on October 16, 2022
Topics: communication effectiveness, constructive conversations, developmental feedback, dignity, expectations, respect
Jonathan Mills
Leadership

“A microscope of faith is far better than a telescope of criticism” (Anon)

While helpful feedback is aimed at improving or enhancing the performance of an employee or team and accelerating business results as a whole, such manager conversations often deteriorate into criticism, which is loosely defined as “the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes”. Like the term “brickbat”, it is sometimes used to mean “an unfavourable criticism, unkind remark or sharp put-down”, producing less than favourable responses. In essence, when employees receive criticism, they frequently take the message personally and feel that their characters are being attacked.

Kate Nasser, a people skills coach, helpfully notes eight ways that criticism of employees can come across as contempt and scorn, viz. when managers:

  1. Use demeaning words instead of objective observations about their work. Example of contempt: “Why am I even paying you?” Making employees feel worthless won’t make them work harder. Don’t degrade employees. Coach instead of diminishing who they are.
  2. Show prejudice. Prejudice, racism, sexism, etc… show contempt for others. Moreover, when you say racist or sexist things in your criticism of employees, they will hear your contempt for who they are as people. Rethink criticism and any biases you may have. Valuable criticism is founded in explicit observations of behaviours and actions they can change. Your disdain is of no value to them.
  3. Nit-pick. If you are constantly criticising employees for the littlest things, they will hear contempt for who they are. If you expect perfection or struggle with obsessive compulsive behaviour yourself, rethink criticism and how you give it. Employees may well hear contempt when you didn’t even intend it.
  4. Use sarcasm when giving them feedback. Sarcasm sounds disdainful. Don’t use it. Speak with care and honesty. Leave the sarcasm to the insult comedians in the world.
  5. Compare them to other employees you admire. Not only does this sound like contempt, but it also crushes teamwork and morale. Coach each employee. Don’t set them up against each other.
  6. Think it’s your right to toughen employees up. They will hear contempt for who they are as you focus on being tough on them. If you were in the military and officers did that to you, don’t do it to employees in business. They are not in the military, and neither are you anymore.
  7. Consider emotion and emotional intelligence a bunch of bunk. You may pride yourself on being unemotional and super logical, yet you are leading human beings. If you tell them they are being overly emotional, they will hear this as contempt. Better to understand where the emotion is coming from and then help them find a path forward. Empathy leads better than scorn.
  8. Yell and scream at them. Unless there is a life and death emergency that requires it, yelling at employees is futile. Most freeze up and later see you as an ineffective leader. Fear does not engage employee talents; respect, trust, and honesty do.

Unlike criticism, constructive or developmental feedback attempts to maintain the dignity of the employee whilst, at the same time, encourages behaviour changes that will lead to better results. A culture of giving and receiving feedback should be created in the organisation where both managers and employees learn the skills necessary for these conversations. As the Indeed editorial team notes: “A feedback culture is important because it provides employees with regular and consistent information about how well they are performing their jobs. When that does not happen, the employees are probably not going to give the employer any healthy feedback either. This can result in a false sense that everything is fine, and no improvement is needed. Productive and invested employees may leave the company because they do not have a gauge of whether they are meeting expectations or not. Constructive ‘criticism’ is an important vehicle for bringing these problems to the surface.”

So, what does constructive developmental feedback entail? Amongst others, it includes (some from Entrepreneur):

  1. Focusing on the problem, not the person. Don’t make statements that personally call out the employee like, “you should,” “you didn’t,” or “your skills.” Instead, discuss the issue by saying, “customers can’t get what they need,” or “this isn’t clear.”
  2. Discuss what is going well. Compliment the employee on her strengths. Encourage the employee to do more of what she already knows how to do well. Then, when you give the necessary developmental feedback, the employee won’t feel like everything she does is wrong.
  3. Present the data. Employees need a visual to understand the concern. A visual performance report can help demonstrate issues with data to help everyone understand the big picture goals.
  4. Relate to the employee’s level. Don’t talk down to the employee, as if he is less intelligent because his performance is suffering. Try to find the source of the problem. Relate to the employee by sharing a personal story about a similar problem and explain how it was resolved.
  5. Reaffirm faith in the employee. Express the importance of the employee’s valuable skills and assure him he will improve. Remind him he was hired for a reason. Feedback will only make him stronger, as long as he channels it into accomplishing his goals.

Managers need to rethink criticism. Applying developmental feedback techniques not only facilitates enhanced performance, but it also develops a culture where continuous improvement is embraced. Invested employees thrive in such an environment. Deploy the microscope of faith in employees.

Share this:

  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Post Topics: communication effectiveness, constructive conversations, developmental feedback, dignity, expectations, respect

Other Posts That May Interest You

Interaction, not telling, in change

Jonathan Mills
Organisational Effectiveness/Productivity

The human being is required to change through all stages of life – these changes are sometimes subtle in nature, but at other times, almost forced.  The changes include adjustments in approach, refinement to character, panel-beating one’s attitude and reversing bad habits. As expectations rise and more responsibilities are conferred on one by people in…

Share this:

  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
Continue Reading

Manage emotions at work

Jonathan Mills
Personal Development

Emotional expression is part of being human – emotions need to be communicated, shared and debriefed whether they are positive or negative in their origin. All emotions need resolution – joyous news needs to be celebrated together with others; sadness needs empathy and closeness within meaningful relationships. The work environment is no exception as it,…

Share this:

  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
Continue Reading

Shop for a caring boss

Jonathan Mills
Leadership

I am surprised at how many people hate work. Wherever I go, I come across hundreds of people who prefer the duvet rather than the desk, the coffee station rather than the computer and “five to four” rather than “five to eight”. Work is an ordeal for them – a necessity to be endured, but…

Share this:

  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
Continue Reading

Short accounts lead to performance

Jonathan Mills
Leadership

Periodically, as managers, we are faced with employee non-conformance operationally (for example: not observing safety rules, missing deadlines, negligence, inaccuracies, etc.) or in terms of behaviour (for example: arriving late repetitively, not behaving according to the company values, gossiping, treating a client with indifference, etc.). These performance issues need to be addressed, even if difficult…

Share this:

  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
Continue Reading

One comment on “Rethinking criticism”

  1. Hendrick Gomas on February 6th, 2023 - 9:12am

    thank you good stuff

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Connect with Jonathan Mills

Blog Categories

Character
Leadership
Organisational Effectiveness/Productivity
Personal Development
Podcast
Service Excellence/Delivery

Books

Subscribe to my mailing list

I'd love to send you an inspiring Stretch for Growth thought each Monday to help you get your week started on the right foot. Sign up to my mailing list and you'll also receive my ebook A to E Stretch completely free!
Subscribe to my mailing list

Connect with Jonathan Mills

Hi. I'm Jonathan Mills. Welcome to my website and blog offerings. The stories and experiences I share here come from spending the past 25 years focusing my efforts on developing people throughout Africa, the Indian Ocean Islands and elsewhere in the world. My passion for people, coupled with my desire to offer people hope, have led to me working with businesses, organisations and governments in many countries. I am passionate about stretching people, because people have the most impact when they are stretched.
  • Home
  • Stretch for Leaders
  • Stretch for Staff
  • Stretch for Facilitators
  • Blog
  • About Jonathan Mills
  • Character
  • Leadership
  • Organisational Effectiveness/Productivity
  • Personal Development
  • Service Excellence/Delivery
  • Shop
  • Cart
  • Checkout

© 2025 Stretch For Growth. All Rights Reserved.